Choose a new subject among your preferences. Develop your thesis and pieces of evidence to support this by the methods presented in Chapter 2.

Is "The Last Empress" worldwide?


[Introduction]
The musical “The Last Empress” is Korea’s first original musical. Ever since it first debuted in 1995 in Seoul, it has been continuing its run within the country making the phenomenal success. Its popularity went beyond the nation being played in the States, England and Canada. <Thesis Sentence> However, in spite of this great success, it seems to have some problems to captivate the international audience.

[Body]

<Supporting Evidence 1> Firstly, the general plot of the musical is too much summarized. It is not that difficult to understand the main flow of the musical for the Korean audience who has already learned the historical facts and events of the late Cho-sun dynasty during their school days. Although there are some missing scenes, we can infer the story line using all these background information. However, for foreign audience, who even first hear the name of the queen Myeongseong, it could be a hard work to find a link between each scene. For instance, even I was very confused when the king’s father was all of sudden taken as a hostage by Ching Dynasty.

<Supporting Evidence 2> The second problem which makes foreign audience frustrated is the translation service of the musical. The theater offers the two translation boards next to each side of the stage for foreign visitors. However, there are too many awkward sentences which are definitely derived from word-forward translation, and some unimportant words are even omitted. This can give foreign audience a double pain. 

[Conclusion]
It is impossible to put all the historical events into two-hour performance and it is not an easy job to translate old Korean into English without spoiling the original meaning. However, by improving these two given problems, the musical “The Last Empress” can be a world’s best musical I think.
(Word Count: 302)
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Posted by Minkee

2007/12/26 15:51 2007/12/26 15:51

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Comments List

  1. Minkee 2007/12/26 16:34 # M/D Reply Permalink

    As always your work is superb. You are one of the greatest English speakers. Your writing conveys clear thesis and evidence that effectively support this. Please, change the title. I named it temporary, sorry. By the way, I made of some suggestions that you might want to consider as listed below:

    1. Even since it > Ever since it
    2. it seems to have some problems to captivate > the famous musical in Korea has some issues to resolve for captivating
    3. too summarized > too simplified
    4. first hear > first hears
    5. which makes foreign audience frustrated > which frustrates foreign audience
    6. the translation service > the inadequate translation service
    7. The theater offers > The theater playing “The Last Empress” in Seoul offers
    8. some unimportant words are even omitted > some scripts which are estimated as trivial are even omitted
    9. old Korean > the old Korean

  2. Nicole 2007/12/26 16:33 # M/D Reply Permalink

    Wow. Nice feedback..
    First one, "even since" was my spelling mistake..-.-
    Actually I didn't proofread my writing...

    Especially, I like number 2,3 and 5 among you suggestions.
    Thanks a lot^^

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